Linda Newton - Featured

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“LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” That's what Jesus instructs us to do, but let's examine what that looks like.

I have the privilege of working everyday in a counseling office with capable caring women who don’t know how valuable they really are. I see smart, beautiful ladies who don’t realize all they have to offer. I see amazing teenage girls with mind-boggling potential who feel since they don’t look like Heidi Klum or Kate Moss, they don’t measure up! Many of us never out grow that. Are you like these women? Do you have difficulty finding something of value in yourself? Are you your own worst enemy—full of demeaning remarks toward yourself? You can feel so poorly about yourself you can be rendered ineffective for the kingdom of God.

Society perpetuates self-loathing…

A study done in 1993 revealed that 3 minutes looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of the girls who did it to feel shameful, guilty and flawed.

Marilyn Monroe, the icon of beauty in the 50s, was a size 12!

The average woman in our society weighs 144 pounds and is a size 12-14. The average model is a size 2.

20 years ago the average model weighed 8 pounds less than the average woman. Today she weighs 23 % less than average girl.

No wonder 1 in 4 girls in college have an eating disorder!

Satan wants to keep us full of self-doubt. Then we are rendered worthless for the cause of Christ. If we can’t love ourselves, we are certainly can’t muster the gumption to love our neighbors!

There has been a lot of talk in the past few decades about self-esteem. I’m not talking about self-esteem. I’m talking about “JESUS—ESTEEM.” James tells us that every good and perfect gift comes down from the father of light who does not change like shifting shadows. Meaning that God isn’t going to wake up in bad mood and take it out on you. He’s not DIRTY HARRY in the sky waiting for you to make a mistake so you can make His eternity! Parents have bad days. Experts say a great deal of our negative self-talk can come from our parents. Psychologists call that our “Internalized Parent.” 12 steppers call that your “Committee.” Sometimes our stinkin’ thinkin’ comes from Satan himself with his satanic static: You’re such an idiot. Can’t you do anything right? Why can’t you be like_____? Don’t bother; you won’t get it right anyway. Ad nausem

Scripture tells us that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. AND EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD ABOUT US COMES FROM GOD! We are worthwhile because God made us that way! We have to buy into that because we can’t adequately love others until we can adequately love ourselves. If you find yourself a victim of your own self-loathing, the first step out of your stinkin’ thinkin’ is to:

I. SEE YOURSELF THROUGH GOD’S EYES

God’s view of you can be found in His Word.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Zechariah 2:8 says that you are the apple of the Lord’s eye.

Psalm 40:1-3a I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

Do you ever feel like you’re in a slimy pit--wallowing around in the muck and mire, and you can’t seem to get your footing. He wants you to know that he will lead you out! He will plant your feet on that rock of His salvation and hold you there with his love.

II. SEE GOD THROUGH YOUR EYES

His mercies are new every morning. Look for them. Wake up every day and instead of saying, “Good Lord, it’s morning; I’ll say, “Good Morning, Lord.” Look for God in the sunrise just for you. In the deer you saw on your way to work. God did that just for you! The leaves that change color in the fall. The parking space the just came available. The money that showed up in the nick of time. Face it: God’s got your back!

III. SEE SATAN COMING

Realize that Satan will sell you a case if you’ll buy it!

JOHN 10:10, “Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly! The NIV Bible says, “Have it to the full.” Satan will try to rob us of our peace but he has no power over us. I READ THE END OF THE BOOK—We win!! But we can fall prey to his Satanic static:You can’t do anything right. What is wrong with you any way? You can’t do that. You’re too dumb—fat—old—young—not educated enough—pretty enough—capable enough.”But IN CHRIST WE ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH!

1 Peter 5:8 says our enemy the devil prowls about like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour-- best the best he can do is gum us if we let him because Jesus has pulled his teeth! If anybody would know how Satan could deceive, it would be Peter. But as he addresses his fellow Christians he tells us in that same verse to RESIST HIM AND STAND FIRM.

James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

It doesn’t say, he will mosey, or stroll or saunter. It says he will flee. When you see Satan coming, call on the name of the Lord. Ask the Lord to send him packin’.

If you need help to loving yourself, then see yourself through God’s eyes, see God through your eyes, and see Satan coming. A healthy dose of Jesus-esteem will free you to love yourself and others!

You can read more about "Jesus-Esteem" in my book, Twelve Ways to Turn Your Pain Into Praise.

THE POWER OF A POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE

With this fresh start it’s important to realize that we need a positive perspective. Did your Mama ever tell you that Attitude is Everything? My mother-in-law told me that attitude was mind over matter. “If you don’t mind, it don’t matter!” So the key is to realize what really matters. In this tentative economy, we need to make a list of our blessings and focus on what we have--not what we don’t have. It’s not so much what we have, but how we view what we have that makes all the difference. We can view the cup of life half empty, or we can view it half full. It’s a choice we make everyday.

The importance of viewpoint was brought home to me in an interview I watched with two World War II survivors. The narrator talked with two older gentlemen who actually participated in the D-day invasion. The first man was part of the Army--the land troops who were transported onto the beach from destroyers. “The enemy was ready for us,” he related. “Somebody must have tipped them off. Henderson boats deposited hundreds of soldiers onto the beach and as soon as they reached the shore they were mowed down by the enemy.” All these years later his face still belied the fear he felt facing the Germans that day. I looked around at all the carnage and said, “We’re gonna lose this thing.”

A second soldier who was interviewed had been a member of the Army Air Corps, the predecessor of our current Air Force. As he was flying in, he could see all the other planes surrounding him. Then he looked down and saw the USS Thomas Jefferson and other ships sending out hundreds of Henderson boats that were depositing thousands of soldiers ready to fight onto the beach and he said to himself, “We’re gonna win this thing!” The difference between the two men was their vantage point. The way we view things makes all the difference. Many times we’re like the first soldier, and we don’t have the benefit of seeing the whole picture. That’s when we anchor to God and trust Him to work all things out for good.

If we believe what God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11, we can look for the welfare even if the calamity seems to be staring us in the face. That’s why making a Blessed List works. It’s not enough to just think of what is working in our lives; we have to take the time to write those things down. Writing an actual list programs the positive into our hard drive, and makes it a part of our internal dialog. More importantly, it gives us something to refer to. We need to review our list for at least fifteen minutes every day, recognize how blessed we really are, and realize how much worse off we could be. An old proverb says, “I complained because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” No matter what our circumstances, things could always be worse! What we choose to focus on, makes all the difference. My question to you is, “What’s in your cup?”